Faith like the grain of a mustard seed?

I have finally started feeling better today, and the warm air and bright sunshine aren't too bad for the heart either!
I've been reading someone's blog and am amazed by their love and faith of God in a trial that they are enduring in their lives.  This is why I think writing is so important.  Over time people from different cultures have catalogued their lives for various reasons.  Sometimes it was done with the intention of letting the world read and other times it was a personal story, thought, diary which they never realized would become a public treasure.  I immediately think of Anne Frank and her diary that gave us such an amazing and brutally honest look into the atrociticies of the Holocaust.
I think writing as Christians is especially important because we encourage, sharpen, and challenge,( sometimes innocently ) our fellow brethren concerning their own lives in the Lord.  We are all different people but we are one in Him.  The above mentioned blog's author is my sister even though I have never met her, and probably never will on this earth.  This world is not as big as it seems.  God's people are united all over , from a little African hut, to frozen Siberia, to an underground Chinese church, to the White House, our faith in Jesus Christ knits us together for eternity!  How encouraged I am by my brothers and sisters in Christ!

Come, Christians, join to sing, Alleluia, Amen!
loud praise to Christ our King, Alleluia, Amen!
Let all with heart and voice, before His throne rejoice,
praise is His gracious choice, Alleluia, Amen!

Come, lift your hearts on high, Alleliua, Amen!
let praises fill the sky, Alleluia, Amen!
He is our guide and friend, to us he'll condescend!
his love shall never end, Alleluia, Amen!

Praise yet our Christ again, Alleluia, Amen!
life shall not end the strain, Alleluia, Amen!
On heaven's blissful shore his goodness we'll adore
singing forevermore, Alleluia, Amen!

Short and not-so-sweet

Descibing todays entry in the above title since the germs have made it to me and have taken over quite severly!
Just a bit of an update:
the pond is still in its present condition-tarp included
We have decided on Hannah's school and are very excited(maybe not this actual second) about the future for her at Dominion.
my wondeful hubster bought me a digital camera-we're still trying to learn how to edit the pictures without deleting or changing the master copy-they're way too big right now to post on this blog.

I think that's it for now-I'm off to the you-know-where!

Germs Galore

The nasty winter germs have made their way back to our house again and I feel myself longing for the warmth and beauty of spring!  Hannah was up all night last night with the “V” word!  I don't even like to say it, or I start feeling nauseated myself.  I changed sheets, cleaned a mattress and scrubbed the carpet this morning around 2AM.  Suffice-it-to say I am a bit loopy today(oh, that may be a Nyquil hangover!) and trying to beat my own germies, who are having a little party in my sinuses!  So far the boys are showing no symptoms but the Vbeast seems more likely to strike at night.

Poor little Hannah..its been awhile since she has had the stomach bug and I felt helpless last night knowing there wasn't much I could do for her.

On to other recent events, David started tearing down our pond last night.  Its had a leak somewhere in it ever since we bought our house a year and a half ago.  We've tried on numerous occasions to repair it cosmetically, but decided it was time to take it apart and put it back together our way.  We have also had a couple of critters living in it including a field mouse and chipmunk…(not to mention frogs and tadpoles ).  I have to say that it has been a great learning experience for our kids, there are always interesting little creatures flying, slithering and hopping around it.  I'll try to include a picture of it here in its before and present states.

The meeting for the new school is tomorrow night and I think only one of us will be able to attend assuming the sickness is only just beginning to make its rounds.  We'll have to make a decision shortly after because applications are due by the end of the month.  I have made up my mind, the cost is the looming uncertainty.

I must be off as my chores await-have a great day and remember the Creator of the universe loves you more than you can possibly imagine!  I'm praying for you, MC!

Jesus, I Come

                                                           Out of my Bondage
                                Out of my bondage, sorrow and night, Jesus I come, Jesus I come,
                                    Into thy freedom, gladness and light, Jesus I come to Thee.
                                              Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
                                          out of my wanting and into Thy wealth,
                                                 out of my sin and into Thyself,
                                                                Jesus I come to Thee

Out of my shameful failure and loss, Jesus I come, Jesus I come,
Into the glorious gain of thy cross, Jesus I come to Thee
Out of earth's sorrows and into Thy balm,
Out of life's storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress into jubilant psalm,
Jesus I come to Thee

Out of unrest and arrogant pride, Jesus I come, Jesus I come
Into Thy blessed will to abide, Jesus I come to Thee;
Out of myself to dwell in Thy love,
Out of despair into raptures above,
Upward forever on wings like a dove,
Jesus I come to Thee.

Out of the fear and dread of the tomb, Jesus I come, Jesus I come,
Into the joy and light of Thy home, Jesus I come to Thee
Out of the depths of ruin untold,
Into the peace of Thy sheltering fold,
Ever Thy glorious face to behold,
Jesus I come to Thee.

This song was especially meaningful to me today.  Its been a couple of rough days and my heart is heavy with recent events.  I know no matter what happens in my daily life, God is using every detail of it to conform me to my Jesus.  That is a relief knowing how often I mess up and how often things don't seem to go the way “I want them to”, how sometimes I am misunderstood and situations are out of my control, how my pride and self-justification threaten to engulf me with thoughts of defense and gut-wrenching disappointment.  I am so thankul that I do not have to act a certain way for Him to love me and accept me and be happy with me.  I am cloaked in Christ's righteousness and my God is happy with His child.
Thank you Heavenly Father, thank you Lord Jesus for your great mercy, love, patience, forgiveness.

Important Decisions

I've been homeschooling Hannah for a couple of years now and am really enjoying it.  I do have to be honest enough to say that at times it is inconvenient and the weight of knowing that I am responsible for her education, is a heavy load.  Still, I believe that this is the best choice for her and so I plug on.  I homeschool for many reasons, with the biggie, being my desire for her to learn about everything from a Christian worldview.  After all, God created everything: science, math, language, art, music etc…

I grew up in the public school environment and no, we didn't have shootings, guns or drugs( that I knew of), but my education lacked so much of the knowledge of God in all things, not to mention the lack of moral teaching in specific reference to Scripture. I am only now learning the true stories of Leif Erickson, Christopher Columbus and the Pilgrims.( I am in First grade all over again!) 

Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't say that there are not good, Christian men and women in our public schools today, I am simply not able to find them and pick them personally to teach Hannah.  On top of that, even if I was able to , those men and women would not be allowed to share with her their convictions concerning God, Scripture and the world.

And with all of that being said, I have to confess that I am a sinful human, unaware of the intricate ways that God deals with his children.  The older I get, the more I realize how amazing, loving and mysterious are the ways of my Lord.  Our heavenly Father directs each of us according to His will for our lives.  In some instances regarding education this may mean public school, in some private, and in some, homeschool.  Each family has to prayerfully weigh the options and decide what is right for their family.

This is where we find ourselves.  Next Thursday night my hub and I will attend a meeting introducing and inviting us to be a part of a new school starting this Fall in our area.  This school will be a Classical Christian School ( using the Trivium) and also a University model, in that it only meets on M,W,F.  They see the need for parents to be directly involved in their children's education and so on Tuesdays and Thursdays parents are able to teach their children at home(with the curriculum provided).  It seems to be a perfect blend of the things we desire in Hannah's education: the Christian worldview, a great education based on the Trivium and the involvement that I seek personally as well.   The catch: well, you can imagine that being a private school the cost is much more substantial than that of homeschooling, and yet, it is less than the average private school in our area.  So this is our important decision; the sacrifice we can make, if it means no vacation some years or not wearing the nicest clothes ( wait a second..that happens now!) we only want to do the best for her, as do all parents, so we will pray, budget and let you know how it all turns out.  Its a relief to know whatever the outcome, that we are in our Creator's loving, merciful,  faithful hands and he is directing our every step!

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
Come thou fount of every blessing , tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy never ceasing , call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet sung by flaming tongues above;
praise his name-I'm fixed upon it-name of God's redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by thy help I've come;
and I hope by thy good pleasure safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger , bought me with his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee:
prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart , O , take and seal it; seal it for thy courts above.

Valentines and Bissels

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I think my hubby is breathing a sigh of relief.  I believe tomorrow must be one of the most dangerous days of the year in the life of a man.  Picking out that special gift for their loved one and hoping its the thing she has been hinting or  flat-out asking for!  Making sure to say the right, loving, caring words all day long!

I helped my man out and told him that I would really like one of those new Bissell Flip-its and that he could actually use the purchase of it as my V-day gift.  I know that may sound crazy to all of you jewelry lovers and so forth but I need any help I can keeping my house clean and the $funds$ can only be spread so far! 

Now flowers, on the other hand…..anyway I am thankful for my love and the way that our personalities compliment each other.  We are so different and yet those differences help meet needs in each others' lives.  We are also learning that no matter how much we love, we will never meet that deepest need in each others' hearts-that place is for God alone.  We are a brother and sister in Christ, given to each other on our journey, to sharpen, encourage, love and help each other, but we were never meant to take God's place-He is the Lover of our souls and our eternal Valentine!

Jesus, Lover of My Soul
Jesus, Lover of My Soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
while the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high;
hide me, o my Savior hide, till the storm of life is past;
safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last!

Other refuge have I none; hangs my helpless soul on thee;
leave, o leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
cover my defenseless head in the shadow of thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want ; more than all in Thee I find;
raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy name, I am all unrighteousness;
false and full of sin I am, thou art full of truth and grace.

Pleanteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
spring thou up within my heart, rise to all eternity.

Mall Madness

I took the kids to the mall today, just so we could get out of the house and be with other people.  My mom met us there and we did the usual: ate lunch, picked up some candy, popped in The Disney Store, Build-A-Bear, and something not so usual: had a Starbucks!  YUM!  I am an absolute coffee fan.  I could drink it all day long and sometimes do, though I stick to decaf after the morning cups.

Anyway, back to the mall-I go to get out, do something, maybe to be a little entertained but I usually leave feeling frustrated because its hard to handle 3 small children and a large stroller ( don't laugh, all you who have more than three, I'm somewhat of a rookie!)  I long for something so much more than this world can offer-the Bible speaks about us being strangers here and so often I long for our home with God, where there will be no more sadness, tears, boredom, hatred, selfishness, …..sin.
Come, Lord Jesus, we long to see your face…

The King Shall Come
The King shall come when morning dawns and light triumphant breaks;
when beauty gilds the eastern hills and life to joy awakes.
Not as of old, a little child, to bear, and fight, and die,
but crowned with glory like the sun that lights the morning sky.

The King shall come when morning dawns and earth's dark night is past;
O haste the rising of that morn, the day that e'er shall last.
then let the endless bliss begin, by weary saints foretold,
when right shall triumph over wrong, and truth shall be extolled

The King shall come when morning dawns and light and beauty brings:
Hail, Christ the Lord!  Your people pray, come quickly, King of kings!

A Dream Rekindled

Another day has come and gone and as usual it is a good time to write but I am soooo tired!  The kids and I stayed in today because Jonah is sick.  We have tile on our first floor so I have started letting the kiddos play Nascar to let some excess energy out.  At first it seems to go pretty well but soon enough they are ramming into each other, Jonah is crying because he wants the “coupe” and Ethan is terrorizing everyone in sight.

Uh, oh, writer's block and its only a blog….

Last night a small group of friends from church met to practice the music for our upcoming Women's Retreat.  Did I tell you that my very favorite thing to do is sing-the location or audience is not a factor, I just love to sing.  So last night I was in my element and we had a new friend join us.  Well, actually recruited since she plays our only instrument, the guitar.  In our almost two hours together I was so inspired by her to learn to play myself.  I did try back in my college days but I attempted Classical guitar and it became too difficult and I gave up. 

I was so excited by my new personal challenge that I looked all over the house today for my pitch pipe so that I could tune my very old guitar.  You can maybe guess what happened next-just as I was tightening the string it popped and slapped me in the hand.  My dream was done for the day.  I called the hubster and begged him to find some strings for me because I NEEEDED them TONIGHT, but alas my dream will have to wait yet another day.
BTW, that friend who played last night is amazingly talented and has graciously agreed to teach me.  Wow!
Its late and I know there are more things to be done before bed
goodnight friends

Worthy
Worthy, You are worthy
much more worthy than I know
I cannot imagine
just how glorious you are
and I cannot begin to tell
how deep a love you bring
o Lord my ears have heard of You
but now my eyes have seen

You're worthy
You're worthy
You're worthy
You're worthy to be praised
forever and a day

Glory, I give glory
to the One who saved my soul
You found me and you freed me
from the shame that was my own
And I cannot begin to tell
How merciful You've been
O Lord, my ears have heard of You
But now my eyes have seen

Satisfied

I can't believe its been so long since my last entry-our family has had a very busy week!
Last Friday night Hannah and I had a spend-the-night party with 76 other Brownies.  Don't scream, we made it through and it was actually a lot of fun for Hannah and okay even for me.  On Saturday morning we had to rush home from the sleepover, take showers and drive for an hour to attend my nephews birthday party.  From there we rushed(again) home, changed(again) and left for one of the major Girl Scouts events of the year.  We finally got home just in time to scarf down some pizza and put everyone to bed.

Sunday was also filled with its own busyness with Church, grocery shopping, cake baking, dropping the kids at Nana's and heading over to friends for a Super Bowl party.

At times like these I realize how much I crave simplicity and how so many of the “good times” are often those spent together at home, or our friends' homes, where we can laugh and talk and eat and play. 

I feel an urgency to relish the children at their present ages.  I've had enough people tell me how fast this time will fly and how it becomes harder in so many ways when they are older.  I remember my own family going through the teenage years.  My poor parents should have medals for having made it through.

Did I tell you that I have a precious group of friends surrounding me?  At our church we have groups of people that meet each week at someone's home.  We talk, laugh, study, cry, eat and just share in each others' lives.  I can say it is probably the first time that I have personally experienced the Body working as Christ intended it to.  I am blessed, encouraged and challenged by these dear friends.

I also have wonderful friends from my past who I keep in touch with on a regular basis.  None of us live close to each other, but we formed such close bonds during college that only a word in a phone call or letter disolves the time that we have spent apart.  These women helped shape me into the person I am today.  Thanks girls, I love you and miss you-M.R., J.J., S.S., J.H., E.B., A.W.,E.C.,T.C.

I love my children, my husband, my family and friends, my house, at least one of our cars, my dog….but my satisfaction is only completely found in Jesus.  So many times I run to any of the blessings I mentioned above, to fill that need or longing in my heart.  I am reminded over and over again that my life is in Him and for Him and that He is all my satisfaction.
                                                          Satisfied

All my life long, I had panted, from a drink from some cool spring;
That I hoped would, quench the burning, of the thirst I felt within,

Chorus:    Hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved,
Jesus satisfies all my longings, through His blood I now am saved.

Feeding on the filth around me, 'till my strength was almost gone,
longed my soul for, something better, only still to hunger on.

Poor I was and sought for riches, something that would satisfy,
But the dust I gathered round me, only mocked my souls sad cry.

Well of water, ever springing, bread of life so rich and free,
Untold wealth that never faileth, my Redeemer is to me.

Tired and Blessed

I'm rather tired.  The children have been getting on each other's nerves and I have lost my temper more than once.  Here's a song for any of you who may be weary of spirit, body, or both:  This is for my sister:

Be Still, My SoulBe still, my soul, the Lord is on your side:
Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;
leave to your God to order and provide;
in every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul, your best, your heavenly Friend
thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul, Your God will undertake
to guide the future as he has the past
your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last. 
Be still, my soul, the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, the hour is hastening on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored
Be still my soul when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last

Tuesdays and Tantrums

I've decided that Tuesday's are going to be a difficult day to write and yet a very, very important day in my life personally and my family's.
Tuesday starts out like every other day in our household-the babe yelling “maaaeeeee!!” from his crib and in the process waking up his brother.  We head downstairs and let the dog out for his morning necessities.  I prepare breakfast for the boys while Hannah sneaks downstairs and finds a warm place on the couch to finish sleeping.  The coffee, hubby's lunch and here's where the morning takes a different turn.  Instead of sitting around with the chickadees and talking about the night and Sponge Bob, I head upstairs for a shower so that I can make sure we are all ready to leave the house by 9AM.  For some reason this change in schedule causes such a chemical reaction to take place in all the little brains in my household that there are sudden outbursts of crying, shouting and hitting from all over the house.  Tantrums ensue as little people are disciplined and we finally make it out the door just in time for me to control my own meltdown.

Why, you ask, do I subject myself to such merriment?!  My answer is two-fold:  First, I find such belonging and support in the sweet faces of my dear friends and sisters in Christ who welcome me to our weekly Bible Study.  Don't get me wrong, my children are the blessing and joy of my heart, but fellowship with the Body ( Heb. 10:24, 25 )is instructed and needed  for every believer.

I find Sunday mornings to be so busy with not enough time to really get to know each other.  Tuesday mornings I am able to throw off my reservations, pride,( and children) and genuinely be a part of others' lives.

Secondly, we are using a study called Gospel Transformation, and it is just that, how the Gospel transforms our entire lives.  I  know that I am not alone in my feeling that this is a one-of-a-kind study.  Our group jokes together  at how we think this book should have a “Danger!” sign on it.  You delve to the very depths of your soul concerning sin and idols and wretchedness and then God shows you the great mercy and love he has for us by redeeming us and bringing us out of that bondage and into the light of His Son.  We learn about our adoption by God and how we are heirs in His kingdom, the rights that we have as His children, and yet it always comes back to His unfathomable grace. Oh, that of course reminds me of another great song many of you will know.  Let's sing it together:

Amazing Grace! how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.
T'was grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed!
Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come;
tis grace that brought me safe thus far , and grace will lead me home.
When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun,
we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we'd first begun.

” Because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus”.
Ephesians 2:4-7